Reasons to have Children in the Wedding Party

Mr. Speedy’s two nieces will be flower girls and his nephew will be a ring bearer in our wedding.

Originally, we were not planning on having children involved but there are many reasons why having tiny tots is a good idea.

I have to thank my Mother for being the one that really swayed my opinion (I SECRETLY THINK SHE WANTS GRANDBABIES SOONER THAN SHE LETS ON) and I have to thank Mr. Speedy’s sister, the Jazzercise-Hair-Dresser-Awesome mother, who graciously is loaning her children to me.

A few may argue against having children involved, for these reasons:

  • They might flip-out during their role: You know what? That is okay because I just might puke, faint, and have a melt down at some point too. Let’s all flip-out!
  • Children are annoying: You are annoying. Not getting my hair to stay in place is annoying. Life can be annoying, get over it.
  • Costs: Buying their outfits and/or accessories might involve additional budgeting, but luckily children’s clothes are WAY cheaper than adults.
  • Adult-only Reception: The only kids at our reception will be these little ones. That might open up hurt feelings towards other people that want to bring their kids…. but sorry. I can only give out so many plates of chicken fingers and these kids will be like mini-celebrities at our wedding, so they deserve it.

But, I think the reasons to have children greatly out-weigh the above list.

REASONS TO HAVE CHILDREN IN YOUR WEDDING PARTY

1. They take really funny pictures:

Holiday card from a few years back…. I just think it is perfect-

Ahhhhhhahahha!

Ahhhhhhahahha!

Here is a more recent picture, taken as they started their long car ride from Nebraska to Michigan to visit us:

I just LOVE Ryker's popping-eyeballs.

I just LOVE Ryker’s popping-eyeballs.

Aren’t they just the cutest?

2. Children are a reminder of the simple things in life – they don’t get stressed or worried or concerned with little things. Weddings are very formal and generally, involve a lot of hustle and bustle for adults. But if we think like a kid, all the stress kind of evaporates.

3. They are cute. Can we just take a moment to appreciate this preview of tiny Lillyan in her flower girl outfit? Thank you.

Modeling her Gatsby hairpiece, glitz pearls, and flowergirl dress!

Modeling her Gatsby hairpiece, glitz pearls, and flowergirl dress!

4. They help symbolize that a wedding is about family and the future. Mr. Speedy and I are forming our own, brand spankin’ new family together. One day, hopefully, that will involve children. Getting married is the first step.

5. They allow you to involve and honor family members of the children (such as the parents, grandparents, etc.) This is an epic meeting of people- Mr. Speedy’s family will be there, my family, so let’s honor everyone and show off the youngest members of the family.

6. They do unpredictable, adorable things that make you smile.

7. Excellent dancers. All social events that I have been to that have music and children, the children really get out there and dance. Yes, their dance moves just might be twirling and running in a serpentine fashion, but they are out there at least. Many adults do not take a step near the dance floor. You gotta love kids for getting out there and busting some moves.

8. They will eat the cake. Kids will eat the cake. No regrets. No excuses. Many adults will say no to cake or complain if it is not perfect. Not a kid- they see cake, they eat it, and they move on with their day.

9. They are the closest kids to us. I don’t mean that in a literal geographic way, but in a family way – these three little tots are our only nieces and nephews.

10. Did I mention the cute-factor? I have a theory- children actually look far cuter in adult clothes, rather than adults. Seriously.

Flower-Girl-Jcrew

Getting married is exciting because not only do I gain a wonderful husband-love-of-my-life-man-partner…. and parents, sisters, a brother… but also I become an AUNT to these little mini-balls of fun. I am so exciting to be a REAL aunt. I am excited that they will have a little memory of when their Uncle in Michigan got married to their Aunt Lily and how there was cake, dancing, and feathers.

And I am excited for one day, having children so these kids will have some cousins to play with and see at holidays.

Sincerely,

Lily

My Scary Neck and My First Dress Rental

Hello.
My name is Lillian and I have the neck of a turtle – please see below:

Please, tell me to stop. Please.

Please, tell me to stop. Please.

This picture is from my friend’s wedding and it makes me crack up. The other girls are so completely pretty and normal and chic and I…. I have a lot of questions. What possessed me to wear large rabbit ears? What is up with the over-sized glasses? Why are my neck veins coming out to say hello? I have the head of a turtle. This is my burden. This is my life.

Moving on from that awkward picture, I am very excited for the next few weeks.

First – tomorrow is Mr. Speedy’s BIRTHDAY!!! I made him this card:

I hope he enjoys my handmade card.

I hope he enjoys my handmade card.

Second, this Saturday is our bridal shower in Michigan. I was freaking out and didn’t know what to wear so I took a chance on Rent the Runway and HOLY MACARONI THIS WEBSITE IS AMAZING. Who has used this before??? I love it. You simply pick out a dress, accessories, whatever and for a fraction of the retail price (it is all high-end designer stuff), you can rent the outfit and ship it back. SO EASY. They send you two sizes, just in case you aren’t sure which to pick.

For our shower, I picked out this sequins-covered dress, trying to stick to the Art Deco theme:

It just arrived, in a pretty box with shampoo/conditioner samples and a coupon for next time!

Here is a sneak peek at the dress…. I had to try it on immediately and I think it turned out great!

Hiiiiiii. I'm in my bathroom.

Hiiiiiii. I’m in my bathroom.

I feel very fancy. And I am glad I do not have back pimples. Ew.

I feel very fancy. And I am glad I do not have back pimples. Ew.

After our shower, Mr. Speedy and I are planning on taking a few pictures with our photographer for a pre-wedding-warm-up session. I suppose you could call these engagement pictures but I just want us to be comfortable in front of the camera.

Let me re-phrase that- I just want me to be able to control myself in front of the camera from mauling Mr. Speedy while he is dressed up and I am dressed up and we are taking lovey-dovey pictures. I will try my best. Wish us luck.

Also, I am going to try to avoid my TURTLE NECK look in ANY wedding photos… so I should practice not doing that on camera.

Other news – first book club meeting is next week and I AM SO PUMPED! We read this book:

SO GOOOOOD

SO GOOOOOD

If you have not read this book, READ IT. It is very good and you won’t put it down. The narrator is Death and the main character is a little girl growing up in the middle of Nazi Germany. It is fantastic. It is beautiful. It made me cry and crave and wonder. This author is amazing.

This next picture really makes me smile. For New Year’s Eve, I had my girlfriend over and then my other girlfriend along with her husband. We played games and wore really awful party hats that constantly tilted. Despite their unattractiveness, we had a blast. Here we are playing PIT, which is a game made for those who can brutally trade cards and yell at the same time:

I am not sure why we were doing thumbs up.

I am not sure why we were doing thumbs up.

I really like the Monet in the background. It just totally screams ‘NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTTTTTTY.’

Speaking of Monet, I registered for one painting and really did not think anyone would buy it. But one woman who was invited to the shower and who has an equally deep appreciation of art, bought it as a gift and shipped it to our home. I couldn’t help but open it early and I was floored by her deep thoughtfulness. She wrote a note that said –

“Lily, this too is one of my favorite paintings and I am so pleased to see that you wanted it. Please enjoy it for the many years to come.”

Gustav Klimt is one of my favorites.

Gustav Klimt is one of my favorites.

Is that not the kindest little note to go along with such a stunning piece of wall art? I have always imagined having this painting, hanging in some future child’s nursery. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it, because now that would be possible.

I really can’t wait for Saturday. Rented dress and I are going to have a blast! Let’s hope the neck of the turtle doesn’t make any appearances!

(That sounded weird. I promise not to refer to my rented clothing as a friend again….)

Sincerely,

Bridal Shower Lily

Bride-to-Be Fail

When I am not running or thinking about running or thinking about running while I am running, my mind seems to wander into planning my upcoming nuptials.

This is all fabulous and wonderful and dandy until I remember these three things:

  1. I’m indecisive: Sometimes I really like the fact that Mr. Speedy confessed he wants a bigger wedding (140ish guests) rather than eloping (I REALLY WANTED TO ELOPE OR HAVE A TINY BABY WEDDING). Sometimes I really don’t like that we are having a bigger wedding and want to run away and elope and kiss and go to the spa. Sometimes I like the thought of wearing a white dress. Sometimes I like the thought of wearing a green dress. Sometimes I like this or that and other times I dislike this or that.
  2. I’m abnormal: I am not your typical bride as in I am not really into all the little details of a wedding or traditional bride things. The thought of designing centerpieces makes my head hurt. Half the time I think ‘YAY I CAN DO THIS’ and half the time I think ‘AH HOW DO I DO THIS…. I’m going to go eat pretzels and pretend I’m Audrey Hepburn.’ The only thing that I am sure about is the man who will be my husband.
  3. I’m on a budget: I think, unless you are the daughter of a Sultan or someone who owns several large vineyards, this statement is common. Budgets are a must and by golly, they really are something.

And after having these thoughts in my head, I relate myself to a movie, specifically Bridesmaids and this scene:

I get this. I am her. She is me.

I get this. I am her. She is me.

Bahahahahha.

No, really, I am a weird bride in training. And I am not really poor, well… not entirely.

My most recent blunder happened yesterday with my two lovely bridesmaids:

I found a bridal shop that carried these dresses we liked for bridesmaid attire. I got to the appointment early and once inside, noticed that the mannequins were plus-size mannequins. I didn’t really think much about that other than how wonderful a shop is showcasing ‘real’ woman curves. But as I sifted through the mountain of lace and frilly dresses, I noticed that the sample size on all of them were rather, large. And then I noticed that all the staff were curvier women. And then I noticed that two brides that were getting fitted in their gorgeous gowns were also curvier. And then I noticed the one bride had spanx in places I did not even know that you could wear spanx. And then, on the wall, were a variety of framed newspaper clippings all about the shop and how they were known for delivering plus-size styles to real brides.

And then it dawned on me- I was in a plus-size bridal shop.

This really isn’t THAT big of a deal but it would be equivalent to Mr. Speedy going to a Big & Tall shop to get fitted for his tux. Slightly out of place. Slightly awkward. Kind of like that one scene in Pretty Woman, when she shows up dressed like a hooker in a high-end boutique. Totally not fitting in and not the right client:

I just wanna shop!

I just wanna shop!

But, despite my minimal curves and obvious mistake, the bridal salon and staff were simply AMAZING.

The ladies that helped us were warm and welcoming. They knew the dresses from left to right and listened to me babble on about how I am not sure this color would look right or this and that. You may have forgotten that I bought my wedding dress online, so I never have had the experience of the wedding salon. But, boy, it was good. They offer you coffee and there are massive displays of ornate jewelry, hair combs, and veils. It is like walking into a freshly-made fluffy cupcake- cozy, airy, and sugary. I loved it. Romance is all around you.

We settled on some deep green gowns:

Our wedding is a 1920’s/Gatsby theme, so I plan to accessorize the outfit with vintage elements and acccents. They are very flowy, elegant, and the best part — you can wear a regular bra with this cut! I know my girls (I am talking about both my bridesmaid and my chest) would be happy about that.

I highly recommend the shop we went to- even if you aren’t plus-size. Here is their website and if you click on the ‘About’ tab (something I did NOT), it is pretty obvious that it is a plus-size place…. whatever. Any size was welcomed! 🙂

I still feel slightly like an idiot….. only me…..

Sincerely,

A non-plus-size-but-I-like-to-shop-at-plus-size-shops bride

PS Anyone else done this?

PSS This is very similar to a time when I threw myself a birthday party at an ‘Apple Orchard’, ready to pick apples, and only to find out that I actually asked everyone to meet me a Apple Orchard store on a random dirt road, that sold apples and fruit from wooden buckets. And large pickels.

PSSS It will be a miracle if this wedding indeed turns out like a wedding with my super attention to detail and masterful planning skills.

No One Told Me

I was just browsing old pictures on the computer and came across this gem:

Do you see what I see?

Do you see what I see?

I think I was distracted by the ceiling, which apparently, was distracting and terrifying me.

But, do you see anything the matter with me? Perhaps, my outfit?

I find it interesting that my sister let me borrow this dress for a LBD party we were invited too but failed to TELL ME THAT IT WAS SEE-THROUGH AND SLIGHTLY INAPPROPRIATE.

I mean really-

Not even my Mother said anything!

Not even my Mother said anything!

How did I not notice this sheer area at the hip/pelvic region?

How did I not get noticed by another girl in the group that would have told me politely ‘EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU ARE LOOKING SLUTTY- YOUR PANTIES ARE SHOWING.’

Thank geeeeeee I had black panties on…. or panties at all for that matter. I would have pulled a Britney Spears before Britney pulled one.

Has anyone done this before?

In all honestly, having a sheer area on my dress right near my nether regions was just foreshadowing the rest of this night.

It was a bachelorette party for my cousin and after a yummy Mexican dinner, we drank at a friend’s house, piled into a mini-van and made our way to a club. I, being a naive non-drinker, thought I’d be bold at this party. I downed 5 (or 7?) shots in-between quick sips of diet coke. It was all warm and fuzzy and grand until I got into the dimly-lit club, fruity drink in hand, and was surrounded by swarming, sweaty hooligans and flashing lights.

I spent the remainder of the night heaving into a toilet while my sister held back my hair and chatted with bride-to-be (I had a great support system in the stall with me). I don’t remember what they chatted about but I do remember every time one of them asked me how I was feeling, I just grimaced at my projectile vomit and said-

“It was that darn Mexican. That was it.”

Apparently, I blamed the tacos for my behavior.

I’m really grateful I had them around to help me but really- did they not notice my strip of sheer material???

Note to self: Always check clothing from all angles before going out in public. And don’t drink shots. Ever.

Those party days are over now.
And by party days, I mean just that one day.
I don’t think I have drank a shot or been to a club since.

Sincerely,

Lily

The Wedding Dress

I found my wedding dress.

But not the traditional way- let me explain…

Are you familiar with the scene in Sex and the City (the movie) when SJP shocks Charlotte and the wedding planner by proclaiming that she already found her outfit for her wedding.

No label. Vintage. Simple.

And they gasp. “What?! No Label? The bride wore a dress by… no one.”

But SJP loves her choice. She sticks to her fashion choice and is happy with it- it is simple. Classic. And romantic. Just like her and Big.

Mr. Big = Mr. Speedy. But Mr. Speedy is cuter.

Mr. Big = Mr. Speedy. But Mr. Speedy is cuter.

That is what I did. I mean, kind of.

“Do you want to go shopping soon for your dress?” my girlfriend asked.
“Oh no, I already bought it,” I responded.
“WHAT. WHATTTTTTT. You already BOUGHT your dress?”
“Yes,” I replied with a smirk.
“When? How? We didn’t even go shopping!?” my friend shouted.
“I found it online. It was a steal and well, I put it in my cart and clicked BUY.”

Her mouth dropped wide open and her face was a mixed of nervous excitement and pure confusion.

I wasn’t planning on finding a wedding dress via the internet on a random Monday evening with only my brother, Louis, at home for opinions.
But somehow, that is how it happened.
And somehow, it worked out.

Four quick days later, it arrived at my doorstep. But because I live in a house with Pirate-people that snatch mail, I did not locate the box until today, 5 days after it’s arrival (someone strategically hid it in the dining room). Quickly, my mother (who had just got out of the pool and was in her suit) and I ran up to her room to try it on.

We opened up the box, holding our breaths. A million questions buzzed in my head – would this look like the picture? What if it got damaged? What if it looks horrible on me? I pulled back the fire red tissue paper and squealed with excitement- it looked perfect. PERFECT.

With her help, we slipped it over my head and I didn’t even need a mirror to conclude it looked beautiful- my Mom had tears forming.

“Oh…. it is beyond stunning, Lillian. It is just beyond anything.”

As I peeked in the mirror and caught a glimpse of myself and thought of Mr. Speedy, I started to cry. I didn’t even have to look at it fully- it just felt different than anything I had ever tried on. I felt different. Changed.

And then Pirate wandered into the bedroom, in his bathing suit (EVERYONE IS ALWAYS IN A BATHING SUIT), and had slight tears in his eyes too.

SO…. What does it look like?

WELL I CAN’T TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THE WAY IT LOOKS BECAUSE MR. SPEEDY READS THIS.

But I can tell you this-

  • It was less than $400. YEAH THAT IS RIGHT. LADIES YOU CAN FIND A DRESS FOR A REASONABLE PRICE.
  • It is not your typical wedding dress but once you see it, you will think ‘Oh that is such a pretty wedding dress!’
  • It does not require me to having any assistance while peeing. This is wonderful because I pee often.
  • It is made of THIS and THAT and has THIS and THAT on it and THAT (so vague, I know).
  • It suits our wedding theme – the 1920s. Think vintage. Think Gatsby. Think Art Deco. Think Glitz. Think Atonement. I love that movie. Sheesh!
We will be chanelling these two for our wedding and pretending to be like them. Minus the whole going to jail and war and dying in a tunnel.

We will be channelling these two for our wedding and pretending to be like them. Minus the whole going to jail and war and dying in a tunnel.

And since I spend a whopping $388 (that includes tax, shipping) on my dress, that means I can now SPLURGE on MR SPEEDY even MORE.

And I might even pay someone decent to wax my eyebrows so they aren’t burnt. I need to figure out accessories- full veil? No veil? Shoes? Of course I’ll wear shoes, but what kind? Drop earrings? There is so much accessorizing!

This whole wedding thing, it is not as complicated as you think.

YOMO.

Sincerely,

Bride-to-be-with-a-dress

Bridesmaid Beauty Blunder: Wax

Due to my hairy-like-animal eyebrows (thank you, Italian Mom), I have to get them waxed.
Some girls can totally get away without having their tiny hairs professionally ripped out of their skull with a scalding hot substance- but I am not one of those girls.

If I let my eyebrows go ‘natural’ for a tad too long, I get comments like these-

“Wow, you have hairy eyebrows.”
“Your eyebrow is waving hi at me. Gross.”
“Your eyebrows are…. actually, you have pretty eyes.”
“Those are getting trimmed soon, right?”

These comments are mainly from my barbaric little brother, Louis, so they don’t really cut me deep but he generally spews the truth.

I don’t know if you have ever had the pleasure of having hot wax brushed upon your delicate skin, but it is just sensational!

And sometimes it is oh-so-sensational, that you not only go home with beautiful Brook-Shield’s-worthy eyebrows, but also beauty burns:

Don't I just look like  a model?

Don’t I just look like a model?

Did I mention that I am standing up in a wedding this weekend for a dear friend?

Yep… I’ll be a bridesmaid… that one with the burnt eyebrow disease. That won’t be awkward at all.

I am starting to fear that people will get close to me, gawk with the realization that I have a rare form of genital crabs that lives in burnt eyelid land and is transmitted through hugging…. and then they will flee. (I have none and never have had any crabs FYI)

I digress. People,  I HAVE A PLAN.

If anyone starts to repel away from me or says “OH HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYELID?”, I am going to make this face back at them:

EYELID. WHAT ABOUT MY NEON GREEN HAIRS?

EYELID. WHAT ABOUT MY NEON GREEN HAIRS?

Judging from this picture, it is also noticeable that I have spider-like eyelashes. This makes me think that I should probably just wear sleek dark glasses like that guy from X-men who shot lasers out of his eyeballs, so no one has the chance to gawk at the upper portion of my face.

I am pretty sure wearing shades during the wedding is not acceptable.

Luckily, the bride-to-be is a gorgeous girl and everyone will be gawking at her beauty. Please see this picture for proof:

Look at dem brows.

Look at dem brows.

I honestly doubt anyone will notice my burnt eyelids, especially since I plan to utilize cover-up and all other forms of makeup known to hide blemishes.

Speaking of blemishes, this is my bridesmaid dress:

Snug as a bug.

Snug as a bug.

Actually, I kid….. as in THAT IS NOT WHAT I WILL BE WEARING. The dress I am wearing is a very pretty aqua color with a boat neck collar.

But if I were to wear this crocheted-masterpiece-of-a-gown, no one would notice my burnt flesh… Mr. Speedy is gonna marry a real winner in the beauty department. Someone please remind me not to wax my eyebrows a few days before the wedding. That would be great. THANKS XOXO.

Sincerely,

Lily

HAVE A HAPPY MEMORIAL WEEKEND!

DO NOT BURN YOUR BROWS.