Taking time to heal (and enjoy it)

This year has not been the greatest for the running in my life.

For my love life- it has been perfect.
For my travel life- amazing.
For my friendships- I love them all.

But for running- this year has been flat-out miserable.

First, I got Achilles tendinitis back in late January.

To allow my leg to heal AND stay fit for the wedding, I biked a lot. I went to the gym at my condo and biked and biked and biked.

Fast forward to right after the wedding, I tried running and discovered that the outside of my right knee was KILLING and my I.T. (ilitobial) band was injured. Most likely from a ill-fitting bike. So for a solid two months, I was unintentionally biking my knee into an injury while intentionally trying to let my Achilles heal.

What a cruel merry-go-round of events.

That bike did some damage.

That bike did some damage.

The past two weeks I have been very bitter about all of this, while trying to let my body heal and get my IT band strength and stamina back to normal.

I was suppose to run a half-marathon this Saturday – THE HALF THAT MR. SPEEDY AND I MET AT- but had to switch to the 5k.
I had to back out of my marathon next month.
I have been bashing my body, a lot.

And I really don’t like bashing my body. I highly dislike that and embarrassed to admit it. You know- those thoughts like you only ran a mile, that barely burned any calories, better eat less, you should be working out more, etc.

Thoughts like these can quickly creep up and seep deep and poison your entire day.

We have all been there.

Honestly- isn’t it funny how when we are limited in our normal exercise routine or not working out as much as we did before, there is this great assumption and fear that suddenly you will shrink into a less-attractive, lazier version of your former self?

I need to kick-out the negative thoughts and focus on positive words, like this:

I would like to plaster this on my wall and read it every day.

I would like to plaster this on my wall and read it every day.

Really.

One of my favorite sayings of all time –

The greatest gift you can give yourself is unconditional love.

I give Mr. Speedy unconditional love.
I give my family that too.
I plan on giving our children that type of love too.

Why am I denying myself during this time?

Just because I am running less or moving slower – is that reason to love myself a bit less too? Not grab the slice of pizza or second glass of wine?

Mr. Speedy has been SUCH A SAINT.

I have been moody and disappointed.

Just yesterday, we went for a run and he lead the way, taking a completely off-beaten path that was scenic and new to us both. When we got back to our normal path, he immediately stated how nice it was to run in between the trees and see something new.

And you know what I said?

“That was short. We aren’t going to get our full 6 miles in.”

He really should have slapped me across the cheek for that.

Instead he was quiet and said, “I thought you would have enjoyed the trees and seeing something instead of cement.”

He took the time to run a new route, one that was full of nature, and all I could think about was if I was going to reach my goal of X amount of miles. I completely missed out enjoying the beauty around me. I completely was rude towards my running partner, who choose to run a slower pace with me.

I was completely acting selfish and missed out on a beautiful run with the love of my life.

Well, enough of that behavior.

ENOUGH.

Every single day. Be kind.

Every single day. Be kind.

New mindset-

I will heal. I need to be patient. I will enjoy my runs, no matter what the pace/distance. Saturday I will run the 5k and be happy I can do that. I will be able to cheer on others competing in the half.  I will run a marathon again, just not in May, and this OK. I will eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I will remember to tell Mr. Speedy each and every day how much his support means to me. I will appreciate every new run with him, no matter what the distance.

I will enjoy myself. And be kind.

How did you work through an injury? Tell me what kept you positive.

Sincerely,

Lily

 

 

 

 

27 Thoughts for 27

Yesterday was my 27th birthday.

I am so old.

I am so old… and often smile at Mr. Speedy and not the camera.

I have left my mid-twenties and am now entering my late-twenties.
I am almost 30, soon to be 40 (basically).
I currently am a fiance, soon to be wife.
I have a small head that seems to not grow.

Birthdays, for me, have always been something I look forward too…. until I hit 20 and realized I was no longer a teenager, read a magazine article that claimed your skin ages and starts to sag at 20, and had no idea where I was going with my life. After that depressing moment, birthdays seemed to mark a moment that just amplified that I was an adult, had responsibilities, and had to make a successful life for myself.

Except, I had no idea what I was doing. And still, in many ways, have no idea what I am doing.

But that is okay. Each birthday that passes, each year that flies by, I learn a little more about what I want or do not want in my life. I don’t have everything figured out but my birthdays now are a happy, joyous, celebration of becoming more of the woman I want to be rather than clinging to the younger, less-responsible years.

So in celebration, here are-

27 thoughts on my 27:

1. I never thought I’d run a marathon.

I really never had this race on my radar at all until I met Mr. Speedy. Then he signed up for a marathon and urged me to join. And I did it. Wowzers.

2. I’ve grown to love wine.

Seriously. I am not a big drinker and never drank really until  I was in grad-school. Beer I am picky with and liquor makes my eyes water. Yuck. But wine…. if it is sweet, and has a pinch of fruit flavors, I love it.  It is fantastic to cook with, great with a meal, and even better to relax on the weekend with friends.

3. I never thought I’d get married under 2 years of knowing someone.

Let me re-phrase that – I knew I’d get married someday, but never this soon. Marriage was something that I always dearly wanted for myself but never found the right love. Dating was fun but never serious in the sense that I could imagine it playing out in the future, or rings being exchanged. I always figured I’d get married around 35 if I was lucky.  If you met me a few years ago and was like ‘Hey, you are going to get married when you are 27,” I would have laughed and been like NOPE. But life is funny, throws you curve-balls, and sometimes pushes you towards the right person so beautifully, you just got to thank God and His planning.

Mr. Speedy proposed under 1 year and we will be married under 2. Fancy that.

4. I am (still) a complainer.

I am trying to work on this. Really. It is probably one of my most unattractive qualities. I have a tendency to complain too much and make it quite obvious that I am not 100% happy with whatever is occurring. I need to practice patients, endure uncomfortable situations, and not let little problems cause such a dent in my emotions. I’ll get there, maybe by the time I am 30.

5. My skin IS REALLY aging.

It really is… but I have been using anti-aging cream on my face and neck (don’t forget about the neck! or else you get turkey neck), for the past 4 years and I feel like it is working. Kind of. Ask me in 5 years.

6. I am satisfied and content with my body.

loveee

BOOYAH. This was a long journey and I struggled for some time but let me repeat that – I LOVE THE WAY I LOOK. It only took me a decade but life is oh-so-much sweeter when you accept yourself, faults and all, and are completely satisfied with your body. Ignore the social demands, ignore the irrational thoughts. I sitll have ‘negative’ thoughts and feelings, but for the most part, I like to think I look like a rock star and am hyped about my body confidence.

Confidence is worn best with a smile and let me tell you – that attracts anyone’s attention and makes them think ‘Dang. That girl has got it!’

Love yourself. It is the only way to live this life.

7. My mom is one of my best friends.

My mom and I talk almost daily. She supported me and stood by my side through times when I was irrational, mean, and just plain ugly. She is a hard-worker and giving beyond giving. If I am half the lady she is then I will be happy. We are close friends and I am so happy that my mom and I have the relationship we do.  I would not trade it for the world.

8. I love LOVE love having pen pals.

I love writing letters, getting letters, and having pen pals. I have 5 or 6 at the moment and it rocks my running socks.

9. I never thought I’d have anything remotely as beautiful as this:

Please ignore me ET fingertips.

Please ignore me ET fingertips.

10. I still don’t like dogs/animals/pets.

Uh yeahhhhh…. I thought maybe at this point in my life, I would be a little less cold-hearted towards animals but I am not. It has gotten worse. I just have absolutely no bone in my body that cares about them or wants them near me. They just do not appeal to me. Just keep all animals away from me, thank you very much.

11. But one day, IN THE FAR FUTURE, MAYBE, a golden retriever will be part of our family.

I am going to be honest, if having this furry-smelly creature means Mr. Speedy would be the happiest man alive, I would allow this pet. BUT under strict guidelines: it is not allowed in the kitchen, bedroom, on furniture, or bathrooms. It would have to be HIGHLY trained, to the point that it would not come near me. And we would have to have at least 385735 acres of land for it to run around and (hopefully) get lost in and never return..

I’m kidding. I would be so sad if it did get lost….

Mr. Speedy loved this dog.

Mr. Speedy loved this dog.

12. I thought by now I would have a library. Preferably, one like Belle’s:

belles-library

13. I’m blessed with an amazing family.

No family is perfect but mine is perfect for me. Although Pirate is pirate-like and my sister and I are opposites, they are amazing. My parents are amazing and have shown me what a true marriage is all about- endurance, compromise, romance, dedication, communication, humor, and taking time to make time for each other. I am blessed to have my sister as a friend and my younger brothers in my life. I have an extended family that is pretty awesome too, many of us girl cousins get together and are best friends. Family is such a foundation for one’s life and I wouldn’t change a thing about mine.

14. I never thought I’d be an aunt.

By marrying Mr. Speedy, I acquire the title ‘Aunt’ to his 2 nieces and nephew. This is pretty exciting. My birthday card from them was addressed to ‘Aunt Lily.’ SWOON. I love it.

And, a bonus, is that one niece has the same name as me so it is almost like a great scheme of generations of Lillians… totally not planned:

"WHOA WHOA... WHAT DO YOU MEAN I ONLY GET TO HAVE 3 CUPCAKES???"

“WHOA WHOA… WHAT DO YOU MEAN I ONLY GET TO HAVE 3 CUPCAKES???”

15. I never thought my grandparents wouldn’t be around for my wedding.

Is this depressing to mention? Sorry. I always pictured my Grandpa to be present for my marriage. He was the best. But he and all my other grands are gone. But I suppose they will watch over the entire thing and be toasting up in Heaven with important ancestors and making bets on when the first great-grandchild will be born.

16. I’m girly.

I was tom boy for A LONG time. I used to dislike shopping, never used a hair dryer, and thought swimming in a pool was equivalent to a shower. (It is NOT, in case you were wondering.) But now, that is all changed. I love shopping! I enjoy doing my hair (or trying) and I like to put a dab on make-up here and there.

I still have no idea what concealer or foundation is nor do I think I’ll ever use it, but I do use an eyelash curler like a boss.

This birthday I recieved many lovely gifts, including K.Spade items I was lusting after – 2 sets of earrings and a watch. Totally Girly.

17. Surprises are really the best.

I have a tendency to SNOOP and PRY and RUIN ALL SUPRISES. But, being with Mr. Speedy (who is always full of surprises) has taught me that waiting and not ruining surprises is very sweet. I still semi-ruin his surprises by hinting that I have something for him… so he usually knows when it is coming, but I am no longer blurting out whatever that gift may be.

Mr. Speedy, hands down, is the best surprise-giver ever. He does it all the time. Sometimes small, sometimes big. I can’t keep up with him.

Today at work, Mr. Speedy suprised me by having Jimmy Johns delievered for the my ENTIRE staff AND then a few hours later, these were delievered:

I CAN'T WAIT EITHER. So sweet. Does it get sweeter than this? Nope.

I CAN’T WAIT EITHER. So sweet. Does it get sweeter than this? Nope.

18. 10 miles.

This amount is my ‘normal’ everyday run. I never thought that 10 miles would be normal and 4-6 is short.

19. I am very indecisive.

I am like Sally from ‘When Harry met Sally.’ I change my order at the last minute and have serious issues picking out my outfit and accessories. I over-pack and have mental breakdowns if I am rushed while trying to get dressed up for a fancy event. Never rush an indecisive person. It makes them feel foolish and like they are missing half their brain while they are searching for the right earring or perfect heel.

Mr. Speedy has learned how to deal with me when getting ready for things or when we have to order a meal. Or a drink. He understands the personality quirk of mine and thankfully, accepts me.

Just making this list has been difficult. Planning an entire wedding for a person with my inability to make direct, quick decisions has been like planning on jumping on a hopscotch square that constantly shifts and moves and tilts. Difficult and challenging, but possible.

20. I never thought Prince Charming was a) really this charming and b) this good looking and c) a perfect fit for me:

He ha the best legs and arms.... and torso, butt, and all other spots.

He ha the best legs and arms…. and torso, butt, and all other spots.

Really. Seriously. How DID this happen? How did I find Prince Charming and he find me? Fairytales do happen, people.

I had Prince Charming dreamed up in my head, and then POOF- he does exist. Only he is better than anything I could have thought up and is sweeter than the sweetest honey. Stronger than the biggest bull. Faster than the fastest cheetah. More caring than a thousand band aids. More helpful than a school of teachers. Funnier than any comedian. Patient like a monk (that one is weird…. they are patient, I think). More manly than Paul Bunyan himself. More suave that James Bond. Sexier than a shirtless man holding an infant. Tastier than a….

Ok, I’ll stop. You get the picture. Prince Charming does exist and he is Mr. Speedy. I’m going to try to stop drooling all over the keyboard now.

21. Moody moods.

With age, I have noticed that PMS does exist and I get moody once a month, for about a day. I never used to have this. But now, I have it. And thought I’d share with you.

So glad I got that off my chest.

22. I am blind.

Not really, but almost. Another thing that age has gifted me with is horrible eyesight. My prescription is -3.75 is both eyes and if I do not have my contacts or glasses on, I cannot see diddly-squat. I once had a full conversation with a tree when I had no contacts or glasses present. True story.

23. Sports make you strong.

I have always been atheltic and had a natural need to perform- whether it be through running, swimming, or playing tennis. I love the way getting my sweat on makes me feel. I absolutely would not trade my toned thighs and runner’s butt for a skinnier set of legs. I love how whenever I see another female running, I think ‘GIRL POWER.’ Sports make you sassy, give you confidence, and make you soar.

Get your sweat on, ladies.

24. I would like to start or be part of a book club.

This is my goal for year 27… simple and sweet. Hopefully, I can make it happen because I have currently been part of a book club with only one member (me) and it is kind of lame at times. I need some discussion and argumentative, thought-provoking perspectives. I also want to have people over and serve wine and fine cheese.

Basically, I want to create the Jane Austen Book Club.

THIS MOVIE IS THE BEST!!

THIS MOVIE IS THE BEST!!

25. I have never ever smoked a thing.

I have never ever smoked anything in my whole life and am proud of this. I have never tried a cigarette nor do I want too. Smoking is one of those habits that makes my toes curl and lungs cry.

My biggest pet peeve of this nasty habit are a) people that smoke while on running paths– sorry, you are doing it wrong and b) smoking… in general.

26. My career is a winding, confused, undetermined path.

What the heck am I doing?

When I was in college, if you asked me where I would be at when I was 27, I would have said working in an art museum in Chicago or New York or Italy. When I was in graduate school and you asked me where I would be at 27, I would have said teaching at a community college and working at library. Now, ask me where I am at, at 27?

Answer: All over and I have no idea.

My career path has not been direct nor has it been clear. I am successful in the sense that I am working and independent. I am paying off my student loans and able to save money. I am able to splurge and buy Pantene ProV (my Suave days are over) and I indulge in Starbucks here and there.

But, I am not 100% happy with my current job. I feel alone most of the time. I am grateful to be working but I feel like I need to make some changes soon.

And what will I do? I don’t know and I don’t think I’ll ever know what I want to do…. and I am okay with that. But, I do know that I want to be happy and only I can make that happen.

27. Each day really is better than the last.

This past year, this really has held true. Every day seems to get better and better, and not just because Mr. Speedy is a part of my life. As you get older, you have more experiences and memories and life is just…. richer. Fuller. More exciting. The future is literally popping at the seams with possibilities and opportunities. I have no idea what might or might not happen, but I am excited. Sure there are going to be tought times, there always are, but I am looking forward to what the future brings.

Life gets sweeter and more precious as I get older.

The appreciation grows.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Sincerely,

27-year-old Lily